


Where do babies come from?

by Spotted_Newt



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Confused Clones, the Jedi didn't teach sex ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spotted_Newt/pseuds/Spotted_Newt
Summary: In which the clones wonder how nat-borns come into existence, and the Jedi Order doesn't teach sex ed.Inspired by a text post I saw on pinterest (and which I am trying to find again so I can credit the original idea)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 112





	Where do babies come from?

“Hey Captain?”

“Yeah?”

“Some of the troopers were talking, and we were wondering… Where do babies come from?”

Rex paused in his work, turning to frown at his _vod_. What kind of question was that? They all knew where they came from. “From the cloning tanks.”

“Well, yeah,” Tup shifted his weight, “But what about nat-borns? They don’t come from tanks. Right? So where do they come from?”

Rex considered this. He tried to think of the various nat-borns he had met and seen. “From their mothers,” he said at last. He remembered that one time a pregnant woman had grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly, insisting he should ‘feel the baby kick.’ “They grow in their mothers’ stomachs.”

“But how do they get there?” 

Rex’s frown deepened as he tried to figure out how a baby was created. The scientists on Kamino created an embryo and placed it in a tank to grow into a clone. “I dunno, maybe they make an embryo in a lab and place it inside the mother to grow?”

“That doesn’t sound right.”

It didn’t sound quite right. “Guess we’ll have to ask a nat-born then.”

“General Skywalker?”

The man in question was lying under a bomber, showing Ahsoka how to fix the wiring. “Yeah?”

Rex clasped his arms behind his back in parade rest. A dozen or so _vode_ stood behind him. For a second, Rex considered saying ‘nevermind’ and walking away, but he took a breath, gathered his courage, and asked, “Where do babies come from?”

Anakin didn’t even look up. “The Force,” he stated, moving a wire. 

“The Force, sir?”

“Yeah. The Force creates a child, and the mother carries and births it.”

Ahsoka tilted her head from where she lay under the bomber to glance at her master. “Are you sure?”

“Yup. That’s how I was born.”

“But what about fathers?” Ahsoka asked, “I thought fathers had to be involved somehow.”

“I didn’t have a father.”

“I did.”

Anakin frowned. “Well yeah, the father helps _raise_ the kid, but you don’t need one to  _ create _ a kid.”

“So the Force just… spontaneously creates a child inside of a mother and then it grows there?” Tup clarified.

“Pretty much.”

“One of my creche-mates said that if you kiss a boy you can get pregnant,” Ahsoka insisted. 

Anakin sighed, putting down his tools and sliding out from under the bomber. “That’s not true.”

“How do you know?”

“Because-” he cut off. He almost said ‘because I’ve kissed Padme and she’s not pregnant’ but that would reveal his secret marriage. “You know what, let’s just ask Obi-Wan, ok?”

The troopers nodded. 

  
  


“Hey, Master.”

“Anakin, Ahsoka. Troopers.” Obi-Wan inclined his head to the group assembled before the holo table. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. We just had a question.”

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at the flickering holo-image. A question that Anakin, Ahsoka, and at least fifty of his men needed to be present to ask? “Well, what is it?”

“Where do babies come from?”

Obi-Wan choked, which quickly turned into a cough, eyes widening. “ _What_?”

“Well, the men thought babies were grown in labs, and I thought the Force made them, and Ahsoka said one of her creche-mates said a girl can get pregnant by kissing a boy, so we figured you’d know which of us is right.”

Obi-Wan stared at the group, wondering if this was some sort of prank call. Surely, any second now, Anakin would bust out laughing at Obi-Wan’s expression. But they all just stared back at him with mild embarrassment and earnest curiosity. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. 

“How do I get into these situations,” he muttered to himself. Letting his arms drop to his sides, he said, “I think it would be best if we had this conversation in person. I’ll be joining you in two rotations. We can have a biology lesson then.”

“Thanks Master!” Anakin beamed at him, and the men around offered respectful salutes. 

Obi-Wan just sighed and shook his head again as the holo turned off. 

And that is how Obi-Wan ended up teaching sex ed to his Padawan, Grandpadawan, and the entire 501st and 212th battalions.


End file.
